Chapter 9

They sat there for a few minutes, Richie's arms still wrapped around Sarah, he didn’t want to let go while his mind raced, putting everything together she had said and done.

She didn’t want to be scared of him. But she feels nervous around him. Then she kissed him. It only lasted a few seconds but she had, so that really meant she didn’t want to be scared of him, didn’t it? Kissing him must mean she wanted more than friendship too.

While Richie’s mind raced, so did Sarah’s, trying to put everything together. She could really talk to him. Not once did he interrupt her. He tried to comfort her, he was a good friend. She hadn’t planned to kiss him but she just felt like it. The few seconds it was, were a nice few seconds, she didn’t regret it. Now his arms were wrapped around her and she didn’t know what to do.

“Maybe we should go inside before people start looking for us.” Richie suggested softly. It was slowly getting darker outside and with that, slightly colder. “Yeah I think so.” Sarah agreed.

Richie finally unwrapped his arms from her and got up, giving her a hand to help her up.

They walked back in silence, when they almost reached the main path back to the door; Richie felt Sarah’s hand around his. It took her the whole walk back to convince herself to grab his hand.

When they were just a few steps away from the door Richie stopped and turned to her. “Sarah, I want you to know I wouldn’t do anything like that to you. I’ll be a much better friend than he ever was.” She had to know that, maybe it would make her more comfortable around him. “I know you will.” Sarah said, she had to trust him, she just knew.

Inside Sarah walked away from him, tapped one of the nurses her shoulder and walked to her room with her.

Richie watched her go, she didn’t say anything, and she just left. A part of him wanted her to say more, stay with him, but the other part understood she needed to be away from him. He sighed and walked over to the living room, dropping in one of the couches.

“What’s up?” Fred looked over at him. “Nothing, just a rough day.” Richie shrugged, he couldn’t tell him anyway. “You’ve only been here a week, it’ll get rougher.” Fred said and turned back to the tv.

An hour later Richie got bored with the tv and said his goodnights even though it was still early. He headed over to the stairs, when he reached the top, Sarah’s nurse just left her room.

He stopped her, “Can you go tell Sarah I said good night?” The nurse nodded, “Of course.” and turned around again.

Richie turned to the other hallway and went to his own room.

He laid down on his bed, closed his eyes and let his mind go. When the idea of knowing where her room was popped into his head, he smirked. Then he shook his head, he couldn’t do that. He liked her, he couldn’t deny that, she was beautiful. Last time they had talked by the pond, he just wanted to kiss her, but while listening to her tonight, he was glad he hadn’t. It would have driven her away. Now he still had a chance, friendship, but he was happy with that.

The best relationships came from friendship, apparently. He would wait, as long as she needed.

He heard a soft knock at the door. “Yeah?” He asked and sat up on his bed to see who would walk in.

The nurse walked in but stayed at the door. “Sarah says good night too.”

Richie smiled. “Thanks.”


Go to the next chapter

Chapter 8

“What do you want to talk about?” Richie asked when they sat down on the same bench by the pond. Sarah had said she needed to talk to him but then she hadn’t said anything more as they walked outside.

Sarah sighed, she had to tell him but it was difficult. Staring at the water she tried to think of words.

“I need to tell you about me.”

Richie was confused. “How do you mean? What about you?”

“Why I’m here and why I’ve been avoiding you for the last few days.” She still looked over the water, it was too hard to look up and face him.

So that’s where she had gone the last couple of days, he was getting worried about her. Every time he asked someone, nobody had seen her. “What do you want to tell me then?” What could be so important they’d have to go outside and be in a private place?

It's hard for me to say the things I want to say.” Sarah looked up at him, but when they made eye contact she looked away again.

Richie was stunned. Did she just say those words? Did she know him? Or was it coincidence that she used the words he had used in a song? He just waited for her. It was obvious she was having a difficult time with what she wanted to say and he wasn’t going to push her to tell him faster. “Take your time.” He said with a soft smile.

“I want to tell you why I’m here.” She looked away from the water but tried not to make eye contact. She tried to get all her courage together, it wasn’t that hard to just say the words but how would he react? No other way of finding out than just telling him. “You see Richie, I’m not here for addiction like most people are.” She finally looked up to face him.

“You’re not?” Confusion ran through his mind. What else would she be doing at a rehab centre?

“I have this little problem.” She chuckled. “Not little at all, it’s very big, huge.”

Now he just wanted her to tell him already. He wanted to know what was bothering her and why it was so hard to tell him.

Sarah looked back at the pond. “It’s a very long story.” She sighed.

“I’ve got time; just tell me what is wrong Sarah.” He wanted to reach out to her but pulled his hand back. “you’re making me worried.”

Sarah sighed again. “Okay.” She got her courage together and started talking. “It all started in college. I had some friends who liked to party and with that they drank a lot, so I started drinking too. It ruined everything; it got worse with every party until I just drank all day long. That’s how I failed my final exams in my last year.” Sarah still regretted it; college had been good until that last year.

“I had a boyfriend back then, it’s because of him I started drinking, and he always said one more couldn’t hurt.” She shook her head at the thought of it. “By the time I was 25 I had a serious drinking problem. I had lousy jobs but was fired after a few weeks anyway.”

Finally Sarah stopped looking at the water and looked up to face Richie, hoping she could see help in his eyes.

“All my life I had dreamed of a perfect life and there I was throwing it all away but I wanted more than what I had. I wanted a good job and I wanted kids at some point but alcohol was stopping it all for me. So at that time I made a very hard decision and went to a rehab centre.”

Richie was amazed, she had checked herself in, and that took a lot of courage.

“My boyfriend was by then my husband, he hated the idea of rehab but I had to do it for myself. I stayed longer than the usual month because I felt I had to.”

She tried to keep her focus on Richie while she talked, needing the contact. His brown eyes showed he wanted to know and wanted to help.

“After a few years things finally got around, I got a decent job and hadn’t drunk any alcohol since I left. My husband on the other hand was still drinking, although it was less than before but it was still bad. It made it more difficult to not drink.”

Richie knew that feeling, at an after party everyone would be drinking and he’d have to sit and watch until he couldn’t take it anymore. He kept watching her, trying to show that he cared about she was telling him.

“We finally had our two boys. Caleb first and then Noah. My husband promised to stop drinking for them but, you know, kids can be a handful. Every night he went to the bar and I never knew when he got home. Then he only got worse.” She could hardly say the last sentence as the memories came back to her.

Richie wondered how it possibly could get worse, 2 young kids and a drunken father. “How Sarah? What happened?”

“He started hitting me when the kids cried and woke him up.” She said softly. “In the beginning…” But she couldn’t find the rest of the words.

Richie was shocked, what man would hit his wife? After all it were his kids too. “Sarah.” This time he did reach out and rubbed her shoulder.

Sarah looked up at him when she felt his warm hand on her shoulder. “I’m here for anxiety Richie.”

“Anxiety? What are you scared of?”

“Men and about everything that comes with them.”

Richie’s hand dropped from her shoulder to the back of the bench. Was she scared of him too? “But you’re not scared of me?”

“No, but I feel very nervous around you.” She looked at him again, seeing pain in his eyes, she turned away. “But I have that with everyone; the only two men I’m comfortable around with are Caleb and Noah.” Looking into his eyes again she continued. “But I’m working on it. I don’t want to be afraid of you.”

Richie was trying to understand her. “What did he do that made you so afraid?”

“Everything. It started when he was getting home drunk every night. He’d get angry when I was already sleeping and he wanted…” She couldn’t say it. “Then he got violent and started hitting me until I would. He found that hitting me got him his way, during the day it was to make the kids listen and during the night…” She still couldn’t say it, tears started to roll down her cheeks.

Richie still couldn’t understand how a man could hit his wife. Out of sympathy his hand went back to her shoulder. “It’s ok Sarah, you don’t have to continue.”

“I do, I have to face this. I have to tell you this, you’re my only friend.”

“Okay, then just take your time, its ok.” He tried to reassure her.

“This is going to sound silly.” She said before she continued, it was silly to her too where she got her courage from back then.

“It won’t.”

“One week, he had been gone for a few days already. I had no idea where he was. I was just glad he wasn’t there. I put the kids to bed and went to watch tv. This movie was on, about a kid that tried to change the world. He lived with his mum who started dating his teacher. You might know the movie.”

Richie started listening more intently, it sounded very familiar.

“The kid’s mum had a drinking problem but then his dad got back home. The boy’s parents had a fight and she finally sent him away after that teacher had told her that the kid was suffering even though he wasn’t the one that got hit.”

“I do know that movie.”

“I have no idea who played the role of that father; I just remember he was cute.”

Of course, they always thought he was cute.

“That has nothing to do with it but then when the movie was over. I just had the idea I had to leave. I packed a few bags, got the kids out of bed and got in my car and drove all the way from Montana to my mother, here in LA.” Sarah tried to blink away the tears but couldn’t stop them.

“You left all on your own? That’s very courageous Sarah.” Richie said with a pad on her shoulder.

She smiled up at him. “It was the only thing I could do; I sent him divorce papers about a month later. I haven’t talked to him since.”

“Wow Sarah.” He was amazed at what she had done and that were the only words he could think of.

“Obviously that didn’t fix everything. After about 3 months I got depressed, so depressed my mum sent me here. I just couldn’t do anything anymore, even my boys didn’t cheer me up anymore. The therapies here helped and I could move on but every time a man talked to me I got scared. So scared I would avoid being around people all together. I quit my job and started working at home, completely isolated from the rest of the world.”

In a way he could understand why she did that, it was the way to avoid getting hurt again.

“But now my boys both understood what was going on too. My mum told me they were worried and all together we decided it was best for me to come back here again.”

Richie remembered his first night at the centre; she had been the one to talk to him first. “Then why did you talk to me, the day I got here?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I think it’s like when I knew I had to stop drinking, when I knew I had to leave, I just knew I had to talk to you.” The night that she had, she had been surprised too. He was exactly the kind of guy she’d be afraid of, tall and big but something about him had made her talk to him.

Richie’s hand slowly moved to her cheek, he made her face him. “I’m glad you did.” At that moment he wanted to kiss her but he resisted, knowing it was too soon for that and even if it was time, he’d let her be the first to indicate it.

“Thanks for listening.” She whispered.

Even with tear stains on her cheeks she looked beautiful. “Thanks for telling me.” He let his arm wrap around her shoulder in a hug. Wondering if it was a good idea to but she hugged him back. Richie didn’t move, it felt good having her close to him and wrapped his other arm around her pulling her tighter when he felt her sobs against his chest. “It’s ok Sarah, it’s all gone, it’s over.” He tried to comfort her, softly stroking her hair.

Sarah couldn’t stop the tears now and started crying; glad Richie was holding her while she let everything go.

In the end she tried to wipe away her tears but Richie still held her. She looked up to once again meet his eyes. Sitting back up, she moved closer to him. Slowly, very slowly she pressed her lips to his.

Go to the next chapter

Chapter 7

"How have the last few days been?" The therapist sat in a black leather chair. "Pretty good, I made a friend."

The therapist looked up from her notes, surprised at what had just been said. "That is great, how do you feel with that." "Pretty proud I dared to do it, he's very nice too."

A smile turned on the therapist her face, actually happy for her patient to have a friend, even more surprised it was a male friend. She honestly hadn't expected that.

"He arrived here last week. The next day he found me in the kitchen when I was hiding from group therapy and I kept saying things so he would stay around. I told him I'd show him around, which I did the next day. He's really nice." She explained happily. "That is very great, Sarah, you made a friend.You really should go to the group therapies, you could meet other people."

Sarah sighed, she didn't want to meet other people, she was scared enough the first time she had talked to Richie.

"I think I might like him more than a friend." That was even more surprising. "Do you think you can trust him?" Sarah nodded, he did seem nice and she was sure she could trust him. "Then I think you should talk to him, if you really do like him or even as just a friend. It would be good for you and for your relationship with him." Sarah looked surprised at the word relationship. The therapist chuckled. "Relationship as a friend."




Finally it was Wednesday evening, after supper Richie walked up to the desk with a big smile on his face. "Hi." He said when he saw Tina. She laughed at his face, he looked so happy. "I guess you want that phone call." "I do." Richie said cheerful. Tina turned around and open a cabinet, picking around in it before giving Richie his iPhone. "Thank you." Richie said.

He activated it and clicked around to find Jon's number. He knew if he called Ava first he'd use his whole 15 minutes and he needed to talk to Jon too.

Luckily Jon answered his phone immediately. "Rich?" He asked surprised to see his ID on his phone. "Jonny! I got 15 minutes phone time." Richie smiled to himself. "How is everyone? The concerts?" "Great, we're all good, we miss you, the fans do too but Phil does a good job." Jon explained to him. Richie had helped picking out his replacement and was glad he was doing good while he was gone. "How about you, how are you doing there?" Jon asked him in return. "Pretty good. It will be good. Met some people, made some friends." He just couldn't stop smiling while he talked.

They quickly caught up about everything. Richie asked Jon to say hi to everyone there and then said goodbye to phone Ava. He hung up his phone and looked over at Tina. "You got 10 more minutes." She said.

He couldn't wait to talk to Ava but then thought of his mum. He should phone her too, just so she wouldn't be worrying. Richie dialed his mums number and had a quick chat with her, she understood how much he wanted to talk to Ava and let him hang up.

Richie still had 7 minutes left and finally dialed Ava her number. "Daddy?" She sounded so surprised but her voice sounded so good in his ear. "Sweety." He said happily, after informing her about how he was he listened to her talk about everything she'd done. He missed not being there to listen to her every day after school when she'd tell him about her day.

Ava talking to him made him so happy, he missed her and dreaded the minute he had to hang up the phone.

Listening to her talk seemed a lot longer than only 7 minutes, but that's how it usually went when she talked about school and her friends.

Richie felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see Tina. "Ava, sweetheart, I have to go. I'll phone you next week. I love you." He heard Ava sigh on the other end. "I love you too daddy." "Love you Princess." He repeated and hung up the phone. Immediately his phone showed him how long his phone call had been, 12 minutes.

He gave his phone back to Tina, "Thanks." He knew she had given him 5 more minutes intentionally. While walking back to the living area he saw Sarah walking in the same direction, coming from the hallway where all the therapists offices were. "Sarah." He called to her, finally he had found her, it had been 5 days since he had seen her.

Sarah stopped and turned around. "Richie." She knew she had to talk to him, he deserved to know her story, her history, it would make him understand her better.

Go to the next chapter

Chapter 6

Next Monday Richie found himself in group therapy again, sitting in a circle, listening to everyone’s stories.

This week his schedule was changed. Group therapy was now daily. In the afternoon he had individual therapy until 3pm. He thought that wasn’t too bad. And best of all, Tina had told him he’d get 15 minutes to phone on Wednesday. 15 minutes wasn’t much but it was something, finally. He hadn’t talked to anyone familiar in 5 days.

He planned on calling Ava and Jon. He wanted to hear his princess’ voice and needed to know how the tour was going.



Tuesday afternoon, he got his guitar from his room and went to sit outside on one of the sun beds on the terrace. The weather was nice enough and he hadn’t played guitar in a while, Saturday’s game did not count according him.

He reclined in one of the sun beds and pulled his guitar on top of him. He strummed a few chords. The terrace wasn’t very busy, a few people at the table but at the sun beds he was the only one. Richie reached his fingers around the neck of the guitar again, placing them on the strings, pressing down between the frets and continued to play.

“Practicing for Saturday?” Richie heard from behind him. He put down his guitar and looked up to see who it was. During group therapy he had found out the guy that played Livin’ On a Prayer on Saturday was named Jerry. Of course it was Jerry.

“I don’t need to practice.” Richie said confident, he knew his songs, he wasn’t lying. “Play Living On a Prayer then.” Jerry said and Richie was sure he heard a g in Livin’.

Richie sat up straight in his seat and put his guitar across his lap again. He placed his fingers and strummed down, the acoustic version of the song.

Jerry sat in the chair next to him and watched Richie play.

Richie finished the song and looked up at Jerry. “Good enough?” He asked. Jerry shook no, “It didn’t sound right.” Richie sighed. “It’s the acoustic version, it’s an acoustic guitar.” “Sure.” Jerry said, thinking he was just making excuses.

Richie sighed again and pulled his guitar on his lap for the second time, this time playing the more famous opening of the song.

Again he looked up at Jerry and waited to see what he said. He knew how to play the songs, he had written them and got annoyed when people said he did it wrong.

“That was good.” Jerry said excited. “Can you play any more songs?” Richie chuckled. “Probably just about whatever you like.”

They spent almost an hour of Jerry asking for songs and Richie played them. He was actually having fun. While playing his guitar he always had fun.

“When did you start guitar lessons?” Jerry asked when Richie finished another song. “Never took any. Self taught myself when I was 13.” He explained to Jerry with a shrug. “Wow, that’s amazing. I’ve always wanted to learn but never had the time to.” “Well then,” Richie said, handing his guitar to Jerry, “do you have time now?”

Jerry smiled and took the guitar from him. Richie quickly explained the parts of the guitar then showed him how to play the chords A, C, D and E minor.

After a little while Jerry got a hang of it. “Can I play a song now?” He asked excited, ready to make some real music instead of standalone chords. “Yeah.” Richie looked around him. “Need some paper to write it down.” He shrugged and got up and went to see Tina at the front desk. It would be so much easier if he had his iPhone.

She gave him a few pieces of paper along with a pencil.

Richie dropped down on the sun bed, placed the paper on his knee and started writing chords and lyrics. He gave the piece of paper to Jerry who laughed when he saw the title, then quickly scanned the lyrics. “It’s missing the end.” He noticed. “You don’t know B, G or F yet, so you’ll have to stick to half of it.” Richie pointed out.

Jerry nodded and started the song with E minor. Richie tapped his foot to the sound, softly singing the lyrics to keep a rhythm so Jerry would keep the pace of the song.

Jerry stopped and grunted after a chord buzzed. Richie stopped singing, “Press harder on the strings and try again.”

A few tries and Jerry finally got the song right to the end. “How’s that for a first guitar lesson, learn Livin’ On a Prayer.” Richie said. “Pretty cool.” Jerry said and handed the guitar back to Richie. “I should really find time after I leave.” “I can teach you some until you leave.” Richie said, at least it would keep him busy too; he still hadn’t seen Sarah and needed something to keep him busy if he couldn’t see her.

After Jerry left, Richie picked up his guitar and went back to the front desk to give the extra pieces of paper and pencil back to Tina. “Playing guitar?” She asked when she took the papers from him and noticed his guitar in his other hand. “Yeah,” Richie smiled, “I’m having a show Saturday night. You should come.”


Go to the next chapter

Chapter 5

The next morning Richie got up a bit earlier and got ready for therapy. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but he was staying positive.

Sarah hadn’t showed up in the living room anymore and he hoped to see her during breakfast. He showered quickly and decided to not play his guitar this morning like he had for the last 2 days. He got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen.

The kitchen was pretty full, almost all the seats were taken. He looked around to see Sarah but she wasn’t there. Fred waved him over and Richie went to sit with him.

After breakfast he followed Fred to the group therapy. They spent the whole morning talking and doing exercises about human contact. Richie still thought it was weird but went along with it, no use in being a depressing person. After they started he didn’t notice Sarah in the room either. She must be skipping again. Richie wondered where she’d gone; maybe she was sitting by the pond again or having breakfast on her own now.



After lunch he didn’t have anywhere to be and decided to go for a walk to see the rest of the grounds. He walked out the same way he and Sarah had left yesterday. Instead of going the direction of the pond he went the other way.

He found a gorgeous patio, with benches and tables with chairs; it seemed a nice place to relax at. A perfect lounge area but he was more in the mood for a walk so he continued his walk.

He was surprised how quiet it was around here, even though the city wasn’t that far away but it was very peaceful here. There was nobody around; at least he didn’t see anybody. When he walked past the bench at the pond he had hoped Sarah would be sitting there but she wasn’t, he felt disappointed. Even though it took a little while to get comfortable yesterday while talking he liked talking to her.

Although he had hoped Sarah would be there, he decided to sit in the quietness a little while longer before going inside again.



“It’s Saturday night.” Fred said. Richie still didn’t understand what he meant. Fred had been excited during dinner and kept announcing it was Saturday night. “So?” He finally asked. “Saturday night’s we do something fun. Since we don’t get to go out they got all those video games.” He explained to Richie. “Which games?” He hoped they didn’t have those singing or guitar games. He had tried those and was bad at them.

“Loads. Last week we played bowling, I think that’s the wii sports game. There’s also guitar hero and singstar.” Fred told him, when Richie laughed, Fred looked at him questioningly. “I prefer actual singing and guitar.” Richie explained to him.

“We can’t play wii sports again.” Fred smiled, he was probably the only one that knew Richie played in a band. “So it’ll be guitar or singing.”

While they were talking more people had entered the room and heard them. “Fred, I explained you this last week.” Carl said, attaching wires from the game systems to the tv. “You attach them all together so two can sing, two play guitars and if the ladies want to dance, you use these.” He showed the two controllers.

“That will work great.” Fred said, slapping Richie’s shoulder as he walked over to the tv and picked up one of the plastic guitars. Richie laughed when Fred handed him the other guitar. “A Playstation original.” He said like it was a guitar brand, which made Richie laugh again. Maybe playing some video games wouldn’t be that bad after all.

“Oh I know, I’ve played this one before, not as good as a Gibson but I guess it will have to do.” Richie sighed and took the guitar from him.

Other people joined them, watching them from the couches or standing nearby so they could take over for the next song.



Before he knew it, he was having a great time, even though the plastic guitar was annoying at first after a few times it got easier and he started scoring points. Until they made him sing…

Only a game, he thought as he took the microphone and the song started. At least it wasn’t one of his songs. He didn’t want to mess up his own songs.

After singing one song Richie handed over the mike to the next person and sat down to watch. Most of the residents were in the living room. There were only 20 people in the centre and most were joining game night, the others must be doing something else.

He noticed Sarah wasn’t there. He hadn’t seen her all day and started wondering where she was. The group was having a great time, why wouldn’t she join the fun?



When someone started singing Livin’ on a Prayer, he just had to laugh. Not because it was bad, at least not horrible but the video of the song behind the lyrics on the screen.

“What’s so funny?” The one that was singing asked him when the song was over. Richie tried to stop laughing but then he saw the screen again and laughed again. “You think you can do better?”

That question caught Richie’s attention. “I’m sure I can, but not on these fake things.” The rest of them looked at him like they didn't understand what he was saying. “A real guitar, you know?” Everyone’s faces lit up when they understood.

“Ok next Saturday then. Did you bring a guitar with you?” The singer asked. Richie nodded his answer. Of course he had brought a guitar, he always took a guitar along.

Go to the next chapter

Chapter 4

He caught himself staring at her again but he couldn’t turn his eyes away as he looked at her lips. He started to wonder what it would feel like to kiss them when she looked up at him. He looked up and looked her in the eyes.

She smiled sweetly, she couldn’t blame him, she had been staring at him too, now she just felt his eyes on her. “So,” She said uncomfortable now and not knowing how to go on. “it’s nice here.” Richie chuckled at seeing her a little uncomfortable. “Yeah it is. Too bad we’re too busy with therapy all the time.” He joked. Sarah chuckled; he’d only been to one of his therapies out of three so far. She knew he’d have to go tomorrow, it wasn’t high school and she shouldn’t stop him from going.

Richie couldn’t even believe she was here, she had the looks, more than that and she probably had the brains too. Then again, he himself had everything he could want, well almost. He repressed his question of how she got here and stayed quiet. The centre didn’t only help people with alcohol addiction so he couldn’t just assume she had the same problem. He decided on another question, something she might feel more comfortable to talk about. “What are your son’s names?” He knew he felt better when he could talk about his daughter, it made him instantly proud, maybe it was the same for her.

She looked up at him again and Richie smiled. “Caleb and Noah.” She answered him. “What’s your daughter’s name?”

There was that proud feeling. “Ava.” He smiled, quickly thinking of his next question. “So are they staying with their dad now?” Sarah looked away from him and shook her head. “No, they’re with my mum.” Richie felt relieved with that, no husband then. He could keep staring at her then, as if he could tear his eyes away from her if she did have a husband, no, he’d still be staring. How couldn’t he, she was beautiful. He asked her a few more questions about her kids, finding out their ages, 15 and 16, what they did in school and he told her about Ava too. They never got to the question of what either of them was doing in a rehab centre but that was fine, Sarah looked more comfortable while talking and he felt happy with that. Before they knew it two hours had passed and everyone else had left group therapy, going to lunch. They were still sitting by the pond.

“Hey, what are you two doing there?” They both turned to look where the sound came from. Again Richie felt like a little kid being caught, Tina walked towards them.

“You weren’t in therapy.” Tina said to Richie when she stood next to the bench. “I know.” He wanted to defend himself but he came up with the truth. “Sarah wanted to show me around here.” Tina’s face relaxed and she smiled at Sarah. Out of the corner of his eye Richie could see Sarah bite her lower lip, trying to smile, she seemed so unsure of what to do. Tina turned back to Richie. “Be there tomorrow and make sure you go to your sessions this afternoon.” She said sternly. “I will.” He promised but why did she only tell him to go and not Sarah? Tina told them lunch was going to be served in a few minutes and suggested them to go inside. Richie felt like he was in school again, make sure to go to class, be in the lunch room during lunch. Stay positive he reminded himself.

During lunch Sarah sat at the other end of the table. Richie wanted to think she was trying to get away from him but tried not to. During lunch he talked with Fred and Carl and listened to them talking about group therapy. He might as well get a heads up before going tomorrow. There wasn’t a dance at the end and the group hug was optional. He was sort of relieved; he could survive an optional group hug.


The rest of the afternoon he spent by listening to a short lecture of Tina, telling him how important group therapy was and that he should attend every one of them. He nodded agreeing with everything she told him. After listening to Tina he went to his afternoon private therapies, spending most of the afternoon there. Talking about his life and addiction. Afterwards he actually felt a little better. Positivity.

The tv was on in the living room and he decided to join and see what was on tv. Apparently channels that broadcasted any type of news were disabled. They really had no contact with the outside world. Who knows what could happen out there and none of them would have known. He didn’t like that idea but at least no one at the centre would find out he was who he was. No one had seemed to recognize him and he didn’t want to go into it either, there was no use for it any way.

He looked around the room and noticed Sarah wasn’t to be seen anywhere. He turned to Fred that was sitting next to him. “Where did Sarah go?”

Fred looked up and looked around the room too, then shrugged. “She’ll be here somewhere. Maybe she went to bed early.”

Richie checked his watch, 7.30pm. That’s very early to go to bed. 7.30, the rest of the band would be on stage right now in New Orleans. He was missing it; he didn’t want to miss it. Being on stage was an amazing feeling, he wanted to be there. He wondered how that replacement they found was doing. Hopefully not screwing up his songs.

Fred nudged him, Richie looked at him confused. “What are you thinking about?” Richie felt a little annoyed; every time he was lost in thought someone asked him what he was thinking. Fred kept looking at him, wanting for an answer. “A concert.” Richie answered him. “We’re you going to a concert today?” Richie smiled to himself, yeah that would work well enough. “Yeah, some band I like.” Fred nodded, and then asked: “Bon Jovi?” Richie’s smile disappeared. “No, another band…” He couldn’t think of another band. He had worked with so many and loved so many and the only band he could think of was The Beatles, and that wouldn’t exactly work. “No worries,” Fred said, “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

Richie sighed, he hadn’t expected to be recognized, especially not here. “Really?” “I’d be a bad friend if I did.” Fred said. Friend? Were they friends?


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Chapter 3

In the afternoon Richie went to his therapies, he answered the questions that were asked, explained his feelings and tried to figure out why he drank so much, but he already knew why. He thought it was an easy reason, he was lonely, alcohol made him forget that. He couldn’t solve that problem without finding someone he could love.



During dinner he found Sarah again at the table and took the seat next to her. “So do we skip group therapy again tomorrow?” He whispered, not noticing the little jump she made and how she shifted away in her seat.
Sarah tried to laugh. “You sound like were in high school.” She remembered the times she would skip classes back then too. She'd go to the beach or hang out around the mall with her friends.

“I didn’t go to class all the time then either.” Richie said. “Aha, though guy huh? What should we do instead of group therapy then?” Why did she say that? She didn't want to go and do something with him. She couldn't take it back anymore either.

“We can explore the grounds.” He hadn’t been outside yet and actually wondered what was out there to see.

She liked the idea, the premises was very big, it was a nice piece of nature and she could stay further away from him. “Good, but after breakfast, I need coffee in the morning first. I’ll show you around afterwards.” Did she just say she would show him around? Why?



The next morning Richie didn’t bother to hurry up and get ready, he had already decided not to go to group therapy, he wasn't into group hugs with strangers, he thought about that for a second. Fans were strangers, but that was totally different he decided.

His guitar was staring at him when he came out of the shower, it needed to be played and he knew it. He picked up the guitar and sat down on his bed and laid it across his lap. Placing his fingers on the frets, thanks to the calluses on his finger tips he couldn’t feel the strings as he pressed them down and stroked his thumb down over the strings. The musical sound that came out could be improved he thought. Laying the guitar down on his lap, he reached over to his guitar bag and got a guitar pick out and made the same sound again. Better.

When he was sure everybody would be gone to the group therapy session he put his guitar into its case and went downstairs.

As he had thought, there was nobody downstairs. He knew he shouldn’t go to the office, they’d notice him and Tina would get angry this time. Looking around the open space there was nobody else and no sign of Sarah either, she must still be in the kitchen.

He made his way to the kitchen; walked inside and saw nobody. Yesterday Sarah was cooking but there was nobody at the stove and nobody sitting at the table. The room was empty.

He’d hoped she would be here, he really wanted to be alone with her again, her to show him around the grounds. The night before he had been looking forward to it but now she wasn’t there.

It was almost 10, he decided to make breakfast any way, and maybe she would still show up. There was some bread left on the counter by the 4 piece toaster. He put a slice of bread in every space and turned on the toaster. Opening the fridge, he leaned into it, looking what was in there. After having a mental debate to have orange juice or milk, he closed the fridge and turned on the coffee machine instead.

The toast popped, he turned around and looked around for peanut butter in the cupboard above it.

When he finished his toast and was about to turn around to get the coffee Sarah walked into the kitchen. “There you are. I thought you weren’t going to show.” Richie said, happy to finally see her. She looked great, even though she wasn’t wearing anything special, it was all her.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Sarah smiled, it was exactly what she had done. “I overslept.” She spent the whole night wondering what skipping therapy with him meant. It was typical for her, always over thinking everything a guy did. What did it mean that he wanted to explore the grounds with her? What would happen if they went outside? Then she'd get scared. “Aren’t you making eggs for me?” She couldn't believe why she kept asking questions like that.

“Not if you love your life.” Richie joked, he was a horrible cook. “I can share my toast though.” He said, holding out a slice of toasted bread for her.

Sarah carefully took the slice he was holding and sat down a few chairs away from him, eating the toast. He shared his food with her, now what did that mean?



A little while later they did the few dishes there were and put everything away. “Ready to go?” Richie asked when he threw the dish towel on the counter; he was eager to go out, he’d been inside for two days and wanted to smell the fresh air and feel the wind. It was spring after all.

Sarah looked around, thinking of something she had to do before but couldn’t think of anything. “I guess so.” She said, not sure why it sounded like she didn’t want to. “Are you sure you want to go?” Richie asked her, it seemed like she wanted a way out. “Cause you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can go sit in my room.” He shrugged at the last he said.

“No, come on, let’s go.” Sarah said as she quickly walked out of the kitchen, looking over her shoulder to see if he was following her. Now she had no choice but show him around, she really had to stop doing that.

They walked through the open space behind the office to the glass wall. Sarah found the door and carefully opened it without making a sound.

She started walking and Richie caught up with her, walking next to her. He looked out over the premises. “I didn’t think it would be this big.” He said as he saw the pond, with a few benches surrounded by trees. It almost looked like a park.

“They’re just missing horse stables.” Sarah joked as she continued to walk towards the pond. Horse stables? She thought to herself, stupid! Richie chuckled at her joke. It was a lovely day out, the sun was shining and a light breeze of wind swept up. It was great being outside.

They sat down on a bench by the pond, looking over the water. Not knowing what to say, they sat quietly.

They both sneaked glances at each other every few minutes while neither noticed the other. The silence they were in was quiet but not too uncomfortable and they weren’t sure if they should break it or just enjoy the peacefulness of the view they had.


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