Chapter 10

Saturday night was entertainment night and Richie had promised to play some songs, showing them how to play real guitar. He hoped Fred was still the only one that knew his secret.

Maybe, he thought to himself, he should tell Sarah, she had been so honest about her life. Maybe he should tell her about his, just so she knew in case something did happen between them.

After dinner Richie helped cleaning the kitchen just because Sarah was. It would give him some time with her.

He stacked up all the plates at the table and followed Sarah to the kitchen. “How are you Sarah?” He asked when he put the plates on the counter next to the sink. There was no dishwasher; they were supposed to do the dishes together, team work. “Pretty good.” Sarah turned on the water, filling the sink.

“No exciting events?” Richie asked, not really know what to say anyway. He grabbed a towel out of a drawer. Sarah chuckled. “Here? Nothing at all.”

Richie dried the first plate Sarah handed to him and put in on the counter in front of him. “So are you coming to my concert?” He changed the subject.

Sarah chuckled again, he started to like that sound. “You’re having a concert?” She asked. “Yeah last week we played guitar hero, tonight I’m showing everyone I’m a real guitar hero.” He explained.

Sarah looked up from the dishes. “You play guitar?” Richie faced her. “Yeah, I thought you knew.” Had he told her? He thought he did. “I don’t think you mentioned it. It will be nice to hear some music. I don’t really listen to music.”

Richie looked astonished, no music? He couldn’t live like that. “Really, don’t you have a favorite song or band?” Richie asked amazed.

“No,” Sarah thought, “not that I can think of.” Richie smiled as he put all the plates away in the cupboard. “Maybe you’ll like some music I’ll play tonight. I was gonna ask if you wanted to hear a specific song but I guess not then.” He stood up again. “No, I’m sorry, but I’m sure I’ll like it.’ Sarah let the water run away and helped Richie put away the last of the dishes.

2 hours later Fred started pushing Richie to get his guitar while they were watching tv.

Finally Richie gave in and got up to walk to his room to get his guitar

When he came back the lights in the living room were turned down, except a standing lamp behind a chair that was placed in front of the tv. Other than that light and the lights in the open hall it was dark in the room.

Even the couches and chairs had moved to look like an audience, nicely in a row and behind each other. Richie thought it was  nice, this way it looked like a small show, something private.

Fred and Tina were sitting on the front couch but he didn’t see Sarah. His heart sunk and he felt disappointed. He really thought she would be here.

Richie sighed and walked up to the chair. He sat down and placed his guitar on his lap. It was pretty dark and he couldn’t really see anybody’s face.

He placed his calloused fingers tips on the strings over the frets, pressing down and strummed with his other hand over the strings.

He hadn’t really put thought into what he was going to play, hoping the audience would tell him what to play. Just requests for tonight. He had only picked out a few songs, hoping he could fill up the rest with what the group wanted to hear.

Richie played the first 5 songs he had picked out; none of them were Bon Jovi songs. He didn’t feel like playing them right now but he had a feeling either Fred or Jerry would ask for Prayer anyway. If they asked, he’d play it.

When he finished the first 5 cover songs, he put his guitar down on his lap. “Any requests?” He asked looking around the dark room.

“What can you play?” Someone asked but Richie couldn’t see who it was, hadn’t he just proved he could play pretty much everything by doing 5 cover songs? “Anything you like.” He answered, he was sure he’d know whatever song they would ask for.

“Do you know Old Time Rock ‘n Roll?” Richie chuckled. “Of course I do.” He picked his guitar up again and started playing the song he had played more than a few times in the last 2 years.

At the end of the song, more people started requesting songs, he didn’t have to ask anymore, and near the end they’d just shout the next song. It was fun to just play what he felt like or what other people wanted to hear. That way he made them happy, and he liked that.

Just like on tour, all those happy fans that were enjoying themselves just because he was playing, and the rest of the band, but him mostly of course, who could resist the guitar player anyway. At least he could play guitar, unlike Jon.

Finally there it was, Prayer, and it was Fred that asked for it. Richie looked around the room again before picking up his guitar. He couldn’t believe Sarah hadn’t showed up. He was so sure she was going to, she even sounded a little excited when they talked about it, but she wasn’t here.

He started the opening chords to the song and sung it acoustically. Richie liked played this version, it was a change to the song he played every night at a concert.

When the song finished he looked over at the group again to hear to next song but there at the end of the hall, where the lights were still on, at the top of the stairs he saw Sarah standing.

Then he knew what to play and ignored what the rest had said and played Pretty Women. Sure he wanted to play something more meaningful but that was the first song he could think of and it had been on the set list a lot lately.

Sarah sat down at the top of the stairs watching over the group to Richie. Thanks to the light behind him she could see him perfectly. From the top step she had a perfect view and could still hear what he was singing.

Richie was so happy Sarah was finally there, he wanted to put his guitar down and go give her a huge hug but he couldn’t do that, he was performing and he was almost sure it would scare Sarah.

He played another few songs and got up. When everyone applauded he smiled and made a little bow. Then he left the room and walked up the stairs.

Sarah stood up. “That was really good.” She smiled up at him. “Thanks, it got a whole lot better when you showed up.” He said sincere.

Sarah’s expression turned surprised, did he just say that. Richie saw surprise and a little bit of panic on her face. “No,... I meant… That eumh…” He shook his head; he meant it was great she was there and that he was happy she showed! “You’re my friend and it’s nice that you came to watch. That’s what I meant” He explained.

Sarah chuckled, he was sure he liked that sound, so sweet. “And I thought I was going to be the nervous one.” She smiled at him, she surprised herself again by saying that but for some reason she hardly felt nervous now. That was strange but she was ok with it.

“I’m sorry.” Richie said. “I just didn’t want to say anything that would upset you.” He explained carefully.

“I know you wouldn’t do anything like that. It’s hard for me but it’s ok.” Sarah said, and she meant it. She was going to trust him, on everything.

“Why didn’t you come down?” Richie asked as he sat down on the step beside her. “Look how many people are there.” Sarah pointed to the room. “But we all have dinner and stuff together too.” Richie said confused. “Yes, but during dinner nobody talks to me, they might have said something tonight and there were more people than just our group, the staff was there too.” Sarah explained.

She was right, there were more people than just their group, which only was about 20 people but he understood she was scared of people. At least she had made it in the end and he got to play her a song, even though she probably didn’t realize it was for her.


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Chapter 9

They sat there for a few minutes, Richie's arms still wrapped around Sarah, he didn’t want to let go while his mind raced, putting everything together she had said and done.

She didn’t want to be scared of him. But she feels nervous around him. Then she kissed him. It only lasted a few seconds but she had, so that really meant she didn’t want to be scared of him, didn’t it? Kissing him must mean she wanted more than friendship too.

While Richie’s mind raced, so did Sarah’s, trying to put everything together. She could really talk to him. Not once did he interrupt her. He tried to comfort her, he was a good friend. She hadn’t planned to kiss him but she just felt like it. The few seconds it was, were a nice few seconds, she didn’t regret it. Now his arms were wrapped around her and she didn’t know what to do.

“Maybe we should go inside before people start looking for us.” Richie suggested softly. It was slowly getting darker outside and with that, slightly colder. “Yeah I think so.” Sarah agreed.

Richie finally unwrapped his arms from her and got up, giving her a hand to help her up.

They walked back in silence, when they almost reached the main path back to the door; Richie felt Sarah’s hand around his. It took her the whole walk back to convince herself to grab his hand.

When they were just a few steps away from the door Richie stopped and turned to her. “Sarah, I want you to know I wouldn’t do anything like that to you. I’ll be a much better friend than he ever was.” She had to know that, maybe it would make her more comfortable around him. “I know you will.” Sarah said, she had to trust him, she just knew.

Inside Sarah walked away from him, tapped one of the nurses her shoulder and walked to her room with her.

Richie watched her go, she didn’t say anything, and she just left. A part of him wanted her to say more, stay with him, but the other part understood she needed to be away from him. He sighed and walked over to the living room, dropping in one of the couches.

“What’s up?” Fred looked over at him. “Nothing, just a rough day.” Richie shrugged, he couldn’t tell him anyway. “You’ve only been here a week, it’ll get rougher.” Fred said and turned back to the tv.

An hour later Richie got bored with the tv and said his goodnights even though it was still early. He headed over to the stairs, when he reached the top, Sarah’s nurse just left her room.

He stopped her, “Can you go tell Sarah I said good night?” The nurse nodded, “Of course.” and turned around again.

Richie turned to the other hallway and went to his own room.

He laid down on his bed, closed his eyes and let his mind go. When the idea of knowing where her room was popped into his head, he smirked. Then he shook his head, he couldn’t do that. He liked her, he couldn’t deny that, she was beautiful. Last time they had talked by the pond, he just wanted to kiss her, but while listening to her tonight, he was glad he hadn’t. It would have driven her away. Now he still had a chance, friendship, but he was happy with that.

The best relationships came from friendship, apparently. He would wait, as long as she needed.

He heard a soft knock at the door. “Yeah?” He asked and sat up on his bed to see who would walk in.

The nurse walked in but stayed at the door. “Sarah says good night too.”

Richie smiled. “Thanks.”


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Chapter 8

“What do you want to talk about?” Richie asked when they sat down on the same bench by the pond. Sarah had said she needed to talk to him but then she hadn’t said anything more as they walked outside.

Sarah sighed, she had to tell him but it was difficult. Staring at the water she tried to think of words.

“I need to tell you about me.”

Richie was confused. “How do you mean? What about you?”

“Why I’m here and why I’ve been avoiding you for the last few days.” She still looked over the water, it was too hard to look up and face him.

So that’s where she had gone the last couple of days, he was getting worried about her. Every time he asked someone, nobody had seen her. “What do you want to tell me then?” What could be so important they’d have to go outside and be in a private place?

It's hard for me to say the things I want to say.” Sarah looked up at him, but when they made eye contact she looked away again.

Richie was stunned. Did she just say those words? Did she know him? Or was it coincidence that she used the words he had used in a song? He just waited for her. It was obvious she was having a difficult time with what she wanted to say and he wasn’t going to push her to tell him faster. “Take your time.” He said with a soft smile.

“I want to tell you why I’m here.” She looked away from the water but tried not to make eye contact. She tried to get all her courage together, it wasn’t that hard to just say the words but how would he react? No other way of finding out than just telling him. “You see Richie, I’m not here for addiction like most people are.” She finally looked up to face him.

“You’re not?” Confusion ran through his mind. What else would she be doing at a rehab centre?

“I have this little problem.” She chuckled. “Not little at all, it’s very big, huge.”

Now he just wanted her to tell him already. He wanted to know what was bothering her and why it was so hard to tell him.

Sarah looked back at the pond. “It’s a very long story.” She sighed.

“I’ve got time; just tell me what is wrong Sarah.” He wanted to reach out to her but pulled his hand back. “you’re making me worried.”

Sarah sighed again. “Okay.” She got her courage together and started talking. “It all started in college. I had some friends who liked to party and with that they drank a lot, so I started drinking too. It ruined everything; it got worse with every party until I just drank all day long. That’s how I failed my final exams in my last year.” Sarah still regretted it; college had been good until that last year.

“I had a boyfriend back then, it’s because of him I started drinking, and he always said one more couldn’t hurt.” She shook her head at the thought of it. “By the time I was 25 I had a serious drinking problem. I had lousy jobs but was fired after a few weeks anyway.”

Finally Sarah stopped looking at the water and looked up to face Richie, hoping she could see help in his eyes.

“All my life I had dreamed of a perfect life and there I was throwing it all away but I wanted more than what I had. I wanted a good job and I wanted kids at some point but alcohol was stopping it all for me. So at that time I made a very hard decision and went to a rehab centre.”

Richie was amazed, she had checked herself in, and that took a lot of courage.

“My boyfriend was by then my husband, he hated the idea of rehab but I had to do it for myself. I stayed longer than the usual month because I felt I had to.”

She tried to keep her focus on Richie while she talked, needing the contact. His brown eyes showed he wanted to know and wanted to help.

“After a few years things finally got around, I got a decent job and hadn’t drunk any alcohol since I left. My husband on the other hand was still drinking, although it was less than before but it was still bad. It made it more difficult to not drink.”

Richie knew that feeling, at an after party everyone would be drinking and he’d have to sit and watch until he couldn’t take it anymore. He kept watching her, trying to show that he cared about she was telling him.

“We finally had our two boys. Caleb first and then Noah. My husband promised to stop drinking for them but, you know, kids can be a handful. Every night he went to the bar and I never knew when he got home. Then he only got worse.” She could hardly say the last sentence as the memories came back to her.

Richie wondered how it possibly could get worse, 2 young kids and a drunken father. “How Sarah? What happened?”

“He started hitting me when the kids cried and woke him up.” She said softly. “In the beginning…” But she couldn’t find the rest of the words.

Richie was shocked, what man would hit his wife? After all it were his kids too. “Sarah.” This time he did reach out and rubbed her shoulder.

Sarah looked up at him when she felt his warm hand on her shoulder. “I’m here for anxiety Richie.”

“Anxiety? What are you scared of?”

“Men and about everything that comes with them.”

Richie’s hand dropped from her shoulder to the back of the bench. Was she scared of him too? “But you’re not scared of me?”

“No, but I feel very nervous around you.” She looked at him again, seeing pain in his eyes, she turned away. “But I have that with everyone; the only two men I’m comfortable around with are Caleb and Noah.” Looking into his eyes again she continued. “But I’m working on it. I don’t want to be afraid of you.”

Richie was trying to understand her. “What did he do that made you so afraid?”

“Everything. It started when he was getting home drunk every night. He’d get angry when I was already sleeping and he wanted…” She couldn’t say it. “Then he got violent and started hitting me until I would. He found that hitting me got him his way, during the day it was to make the kids listen and during the night…” She still couldn’t say it, tears started to roll down her cheeks.

Richie still couldn’t understand how a man could hit his wife. Out of sympathy his hand went back to her shoulder. “It’s ok Sarah, you don’t have to continue.”

“I do, I have to face this. I have to tell you this, you’re my only friend.”

“Okay, then just take your time, its ok.” He tried to reassure her.

“This is going to sound silly.” She said before she continued, it was silly to her too where she got her courage from back then.

“It won’t.”

“One week, he had been gone for a few days already. I had no idea where he was. I was just glad he wasn’t there. I put the kids to bed and went to watch tv. This movie was on, about a kid that tried to change the world. He lived with his mum who started dating his teacher. You might know the movie.”

Richie started listening more intently, it sounded very familiar.

“The kid’s mum had a drinking problem but then his dad got back home. The boy’s parents had a fight and she finally sent him away after that teacher had told her that the kid was suffering even though he wasn’t the one that got hit.”

“I do know that movie.”

“I have no idea who played the role of that father; I just remember he was cute.”

Of course, they always thought he was cute.

“That has nothing to do with it but then when the movie was over. I just had the idea I had to leave. I packed a few bags, got the kids out of bed and got in my car and drove all the way from Montana to my mother, here in LA.” Sarah tried to blink away the tears but couldn’t stop them.

“You left all on your own? That’s very courageous Sarah.” Richie said with a pad on her shoulder.

She smiled up at him. “It was the only thing I could do; I sent him divorce papers about a month later. I haven’t talked to him since.”

“Wow Sarah.” He was amazed at what she had done and that were the only words he could think of.

“Obviously that didn’t fix everything. After about 3 months I got depressed, so depressed my mum sent me here. I just couldn’t do anything anymore, even my boys didn’t cheer me up anymore. The therapies here helped and I could move on but every time a man talked to me I got scared. So scared I would avoid being around people all together. I quit my job and started working at home, completely isolated from the rest of the world.”

In a way he could understand why she did that, it was the way to avoid getting hurt again.

“But now my boys both understood what was going on too. My mum told me they were worried and all together we decided it was best for me to come back here again.”

Richie remembered his first night at the centre; she had been the one to talk to him first. “Then why did you talk to me, the day I got here?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I think it’s like when I knew I had to stop drinking, when I knew I had to leave, I just knew I had to talk to you.” The night that she had, she had been surprised too. He was exactly the kind of guy she’d be afraid of, tall and big but something about him had made her talk to him.

Richie’s hand slowly moved to her cheek, he made her face him. “I’m glad you did.” At that moment he wanted to kiss her but he resisted, knowing it was too soon for that and even if it was time, he’d let her be the first to indicate it.

“Thanks for listening.” She whispered.

Even with tear stains on her cheeks she looked beautiful. “Thanks for telling me.” He let his arm wrap around her shoulder in a hug. Wondering if it was a good idea to but she hugged him back. Richie didn’t move, it felt good having her close to him and wrapped his other arm around her pulling her tighter when he felt her sobs against his chest. “It’s ok Sarah, it’s all gone, it’s over.” He tried to comfort her, softly stroking her hair.

Sarah couldn’t stop the tears now and started crying; glad Richie was holding her while she let everything go.

In the end she tried to wipe away her tears but Richie still held her. She looked up to once again meet his eyes. Sitting back up, she moved closer to him. Slowly, very slowly she pressed her lips to his.

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Chapter 7

"How have the last few days been?" The therapist sat in a black leather chair. "Pretty good, I made a friend."

The therapist looked up from her notes, surprised at what had just been said. "That is great, how do you feel with that." "Pretty proud I dared to do it, he's very nice too."

A smile turned on the therapist her face, actually happy for her patient to have a friend, even more surprised it was a male friend. She honestly hadn't expected that.

"He arrived here last week. The next day he found me in the kitchen when I was hiding from group therapy and I kept saying things so he would stay around. I told him I'd show him around, which I did the next day. He's really nice." She explained happily. "That is very great, Sarah, you made a friend.You really should go to the group therapies, you could meet other people."

Sarah sighed, she didn't want to meet other people, she was scared enough the first time she had talked to Richie.

"I think I might like him more than a friend." That was even more surprising. "Do you think you can trust him?" Sarah nodded, he did seem nice and she was sure she could trust him. "Then I think you should talk to him, if you really do like him or even as just a friend. It would be good for you and for your relationship with him." Sarah looked surprised at the word relationship. The therapist chuckled. "Relationship as a friend."




Finally it was Wednesday evening, after supper Richie walked up to the desk with a big smile on his face. "Hi." He said when he saw Tina. She laughed at his face, he looked so happy. "I guess you want that phone call." "I do." Richie said cheerful. Tina turned around and open a cabinet, picking around in it before giving Richie his iPhone. "Thank you." Richie said.

He activated it and clicked around to find Jon's number. He knew if he called Ava first he'd use his whole 15 minutes and he needed to talk to Jon too.

Luckily Jon answered his phone immediately. "Rich?" He asked surprised to see his ID on his phone. "Jonny! I got 15 minutes phone time." Richie smiled to himself. "How is everyone? The concerts?" "Great, we're all good, we miss you, the fans do too but Phil does a good job." Jon explained to him. Richie had helped picking out his replacement and was glad he was doing good while he was gone. "How about you, how are you doing there?" Jon asked him in return. "Pretty good. It will be good. Met some people, made some friends." He just couldn't stop smiling while he talked.

They quickly caught up about everything. Richie asked Jon to say hi to everyone there and then said goodbye to phone Ava. He hung up his phone and looked over at Tina. "You got 10 more minutes." She said.

He couldn't wait to talk to Ava but then thought of his mum. He should phone her too, just so she wouldn't be worrying. Richie dialed his mums number and had a quick chat with her, she understood how much he wanted to talk to Ava and let him hang up.

Richie still had 7 minutes left and finally dialed Ava her number. "Daddy?" She sounded so surprised but her voice sounded so good in his ear. "Sweety." He said happily, after informing her about how he was he listened to her talk about everything she'd done. He missed not being there to listen to her every day after school when she'd tell him about her day.

Ava talking to him made him so happy, he missed her and dreaded the minute he had to hang up the phone.

Listening to her talk seemed a lot longer than only 7 minutes, but that's how it usually went when she talked about school and her friends.

Richie felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see Tina. "Ava, sweetheart, I have to go. I'll phone you next week. I love you." He heard Ava sigh on the other end. "I love you too daddy." "Love you Princess." He repeated and hung up the phone. Immediately his phone showed him how long his phone call had been, 12 minutes.

He gave his phone back to Tina, "Thanks." He knew she had given him 5 more minutes intentionally. While walking back to the living area he saw Sarah walking in the same direction, coming from the hallway where all the therapists offices were. "Sarah." He called to her, finally he had found her, it had been 5 days since he had seen her.

Sarah stopped and turned around. "Richie." She knew she had to talk to him, he deserved to know her story, her history, it would make him understand her better.

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