Chapter 26

Wednesday morning, finally it was his last day at the center. He couldn’t deny that he had been counting down the days. Today was finally his last day, he felt happy, proud and excited.

Tonight he got his own party but there wasn’t really anyone he wanted to celebrate with. He liked Tina and Megane too but they weren’t friends like Sarah had been.

Sarah, he thought, what would she be doing right now? Circling jobs in a newspaper or pushing that to the side to spend time with her family first?

He knew what he would be doing first. Then again, he didn’t have to look for a job. Actually he looked forward to rehearsals next week, he wanted, he needed to play. It had been two and a half months since he last played in front of a crowd. He felt much like when he was on a break of the tour. He liked his break but now he was ready for work again.



At each therapy session today he got congratulations. He was proud, he even felt like he had learned a lot more than last time at rehab. He was ready for his next challenge.



After dinner and chatting to Megane he went to see Tina, it was Wednesday after all. “Let me guess, phone call?” Tina asked as she spotted him walking towards her desk. “Of course.” Richie said happily. “Thought so.” Tina smiled back before getting his phone.

“You have to make sure they pick you up. It would be a shame if you had to stay longer.” Tina joked as she gave him his phone. Richie chuckled. “Nothing personal but I really want to leave.” “Then go make sure they pick you up.” Tina urged him.

Richie turned around and sat down in one of the chairs that he always sat in while making his phone calls home.

He wondered if he should phone Sarah too, she had given him her phone number, he had the piece of paper up in his room. He really wanted to hear her but maybe he shouldn’t, if he’d phone he’d try to make her come tomorrow and he didn’t want to pressure her. It was entirely her decision, as bad as he felt about not knowing, he had to leave it to her. Only then he’d really know that she wanted to, that it was her decision.

He started to dial a number he hadn’t dialed during any of his calls.

“Hey.” Came a short answer. “Heather, you alright?” He asked concerned, usually she answered the phone a lot more cheerful. “Yeah, I’m alright, busy day, busy evening. Your daughter is very excited to see you.” She explained.

Richie chuckled, that certainly explained a busy evening. When Ava got excited, she would talk non-stop. “That’s exactly why I’m calling, tomorrow, when I get home…” He started explaining the idea he had, first Heather sounded confused but after he explained it all, she seemed to understand what he meant.

Heather couldn’t be there tomorrow and Ava had to be at school, so Richie’s idea seemed like a great suggestion and Heather agreed to it.

They hung up and Richie dialed the next number on his mental list he had made.

“Jonny!” He almost shouted when the phone was answered on the other end. “Don’t gotta make me deaf too Richie.” He answered Richie’s excitement. “Sorry, I just miss you so much.” Richie said. “I can’t wait to hug you again.” He continued to joke.

“Richie,” Jon said sternly, “I’m a married man.” Richie almost chuckled when he sounded so serious. “She doesn’t need to know.” He urged. “I’m sorry, I’m not into guys. Women got these things called boobs and oh my God, those are amazing.” Jon explained, almost as excited as a gay man that just found new pink shoes, trying not to laugh while he talked.

Richie sighed. “I’ll have to try my luck with this woman Sarah then.” He concluded, he was too good for Jon anyway. “Oh Sarah?” Jon asked interested. “Yeah, I told you about her, if all goes good you meet her tomorrow. You are coming tomorrow?” Jon was his ride home, he had to be there.

“Of course, I’m flying at night, pick you up at eleven, go to your place and we’ll fly back to New York on Sunday.” Jon explained, still cheerful about their earlier horseplay while Richie groaned. He looked forward to rehearsals but he had forgotten it was in New York, he would only have a few days to spend with Ava instead of the almost two weeks he thought he had.

“I forgot.” Richie confessed. “You can’t miss it.’ Jon said, Richie hadn’t played in a while. Even though he was probably one of the best guitar players in the world, he couldn’t get away with that excuse from Jon. He needed to practice. “I know, I’ll just have to figure something out.” He didn’t want to tell Ava they only had a few days, he didn’t want to disappoint her. What about Sarah? If she showed up, he’d be leaving again in a few days. Was he going to have a long distance relationship with Sarah that fast?

Richie sighed. How could he forget, rehearsals were always in New York, he was the only one that lived on the other side of the country and sometimes it was a real disadvantage. With that, they started talking more about business.

After a few minutes Richie had to hang up to phone Ava. They said goodbye and Richie dialed the next number.

“Daddy, why didn’t you talk to me when you talked to mom?” Was the answer he got, she sounded disappointed. “Cause I had to talk to Jon first so I would have more time to talk to you. What’s up?” He asked leaning back in his chair, ready for her long report of the last week.

Tomorrow he’d have the whole evening to listen to her. While listening to her talk about what happened in English class he wondered how she could keep talking like that without ever losing her train of thought or her voice, she could continue for hours. But he liked listening to her; it was another thing that made him happy.

“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Oh we should go out!” Ava said excited. Richie chuckled; being in public was one of the things he didn’t want to do right now. If paparazzi spotted him, the questions would never stop and he didn’t want to tell them about his time at rehab, which was definitely something private.

“I thought we could stay in, order some food and watch a movie or something?” He suggested. “Yeah that’s cool too, as long as you actually watch the movie.” Ava said just as excited. It didn’t seem to bother her what they did, which was good cause Richie was looking forward to spend time with his daughter.

He had a lot to make up for since last time and he only had a few days to do it. They talked for the remainder of the half hour that was left.

Saying goodbye to her was just as difficult as the times before even though he was seeing her tomorrow.

After handing his phone back to Tina, Richie returned to the living room where everyone had gathered already. He was happy with the congratulations he got but he wished his friends could be there. Not only the friends he had made here but his other friends too, they should be here. He had shared the last twenty-six years of his life with the rest of the band, they should be there to support him and celebrate with him. It was seriously time to leave and get back to his normal life.

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Chapter 25

Monday morning Richie was glad his schedule was full. Group therapy was in the morning as it always was and in the afternoon he had two private sessions of two hours. He’d be busy all day until about 5pm.

That way he couldn’t think of Sarah, he thought. Usually he liked thinking of her, it made him happy but now it made him worry and he didn’t want to do that. He couldn’t spent his last three days worrying about something that wasn’t in his hands anymore, he gave away that option. Now it was time for Sarah to make a decision. She knew what he felt and wanted, it was up to her if she’d take the chance with him to feel the same.

There he was thinking about it all again. He tried to finish his breakfast without another thought and went off to group therapy.

Four new people had arrived during the last week and weekend, bringing the total of patients back to twenty-three. During the entire time of his stay, there hadn’t been more than twenty-five people, including him.

Now he didn’t know anybody, he knew some faces, but not the people behind them. All of his friends had left during the last few weeks.

Carl was first to go after Richie had been there for a week. That was alright, he still had Fred but he left the week after that. He had enjoyed teaching Jerry some guitar when they had time but he had missed his goodbye party last Friday while trying to fix what he had with Sarah. Yesterday morning Sarah had left, so he ran out of people he knew.

Then Megane popped into his mind. He knew her but did he like her? Last night she seemed like a nice person, talking to him and trying to convince him that everything would be alright. Only a few days ago her actions were completely different. Megane had apologized for what she did so he knew he had to let that go but what if she tried something again?

Why would she convince him everything would be alright with Sarah if she had other intentions? That didn’t make sense.

He had to stop thinking, about everything. His mind just went back to Sarah every time and he had group therapy to concentrate on. His mind was driving him crazy. He tried to clear it again and focused.

Hours later, after dinner he lied in his favorite sun bed on the terrace with his guitar on his chest. The position he was in reminded him of the day they wrote Memory. How Jon had lied almost upside down on the couch, with his feet over the back, hardly able to play any notes but it had worked out perfectly, they created a beautiful song and in the end what did it matter how they did it. Or even where, for their last album they had even recorded some songs in his bathroom cause they liked the acoustics of it.

He missed Jon and the rest of the band and crew. He wanted to be on stage, to feel that high of performing for thousands of people. He had been here long enough, he thought, he wanted to get back to his life. The last American leg of the tour was over by now but he was antsy to get to Europe, to show his millions of fans that he was fine and still rocking.

He knew they would worry about him even they didn’t know him, he was their idol and they loved him. After he left rehab last time, he dedicated a song to his fan at every concert.

Richie spent the rest of his evening outside, playing his guitar. As always it made him happy, feel relaxed and finally made him stop thinking. Only a month ago he was drinking alcohol to feel all those things, now he couldn’t shut up his mind unless he was playing guitar or when he was with Sarah.

What if he got addicted to his guitar, would people complain about that too? Who was he kidding he had been addicted to his guitar for almost forty years, he had just forgotten, he should indulge in it again.



Tuesday went much the same for him. During breakfast he talked to Megane, she was the only person he knew, sort of and he didn’t want to make new friends if he was leaving in two days anyway. He talked to people but nothing more than small talk. The whole conversation Megane was polite and didn’t say anything about his life as a celebrity or rock star. He was quite happy with her change. Now she seemed like a nice girl, not like a groupie.

Richie’s schedule was the same as the day before and after lunch he was off to his first private therapy. It was nice to reflect on the progress he had made during his stay. He had hardly though of any alcohol in the last four weeks, except Sunday evening, but now it was out of reach so he couldn’t even drink when he wanted to.

Next week would be different, the week after even more. Sarah was right; outside the center things would be so much different and a lot more difficult.

Especially with his life, anyone’s life for that matter, if what you had to stay away from was so close to you every day, it was hard to stay away.

He could party without alcohol, he knew that, but it would be hard if everyone else was not. He knew they wouldn’t do it to tempt him. The first week they probably wouldn’t even drink around him but even that would change. It was just him that couldn’t, so why should the rest not? They didn’t have a problem so he didn’t feel like he could take that away from them.

It wouldn’t be easy but he knew he could do it if he stayed positive, just like he had been for the last four weeks. Positivity worked, he knew that and learned it many times throughout his life. He had come this far to the end of the first step. He knew the second step would be a lot harder.

The end was in sight.


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Chapter 24

Sunday evening he sat alone watching tv. Not exactly alone, the rest of the group was there too but his arm rested over the back of the chair where Sarah would have been sitting. Would she once again sit in his arms or was this morning the last time he got to hold her?

He didn’t want to think about it. He wanted her to make the right decision but he feared that what he thought was the right decision, she might not and he really didn’t want to think about that.

First the first time in almost four weeks he thought about alcohol, he needed a drink. It was his usual way to forget his worries and clear his mind. He wanted to forget and have an empty mind, nothing to think about. He felt lonely, the friends he had made had left the center and the friends he had were on stage, now he was alone, worrying about Sarah.

He wasn’t exactly worried about her, a strong woman like her would be fine, but would their relationship be too? He wished he could force those thoughts away but in a place like this he couldn’t do that the way he used to.

It wouldn’t change anything, he knew that, alcohol only made him momentarily forget his problems and he had learned not to drink his problems away but face them. He knew that before too but facing them was a difficult thing.

The only problem was that he couldn’t face them until Thursday. Then he knew he’d go on with Sarah or without her. Why couldn’t he stop thinking about it?

When the couch dipped next to him, he looked up, he hadn’t been that deep in thought for weeks and when he was everyone kept interrupting him. His mind had been so occupied that he didn’t hear anybody approach.

“Are you alright?” He looked up to focus on Megane; he hadn’t expected her to be the one to ask a question like that. “Yeah I’m alright.” Richie said even though he knew he wasn’t and his voice made it clear. “You don’t look alright. You look sad, you miss Sarah.” Megane said without making it a question.

He didn’t answer, why did she even care? If it were any place but this she’d be one of those groupies that sneaked backstage. “You really like her.” She pushed for an answer.

He didn’t want to talk to her, what did she know? How would she know who he liked and didn’t like. Maybe she should see who he didn’t like and leave him alone.

“Fine, don’t answer.” She said after a while. “I know you do. I sort of know you and I haven’t seen you this happy in years.” “You don’t know me.” Came his sharp answer. Fans always thought they knew him when in fact they didn’t know anything at all.

“I don’t mean I know you like that, I mean as a fan, I haven’t seen you this happy in pictures since Heather.” Megane explained, still full of confidence, it didn’t seem to bother her he almost yelled at her.

Richie thought it over, he did feel really happy around Sarah, everything was better with her around. But as happy as he was with Heather? He loved Heather, all the years they were together and still. Did he feel the same way about Sarah? He’d only known her for a few weeks. He couldn’t be in love with her. At least not yet, he didn’t even know if she was going to show up and start their relationship for real.

“So what are you saying?” He asked Megane. So he liked Sarah, what about it? “Nothing, I’m just saying it’s obvious you like Sarah.” She shrugged like his question couldn’t be easier to answer.

He nodded, he knew that, he liked Sarah from the first time they got to spend time together alone.

“A lot.” Megane finally added. A smile appeared on his face. “See,” Megane said, “you do like her.” Richie smiled even wider. “I do, a lot; right now I miss her so much I wonder if I’ll see her again.” He said honest.

Maybe Megane wasn’t such a bad person anyway, she got him to talk and admit he liked Sarah. Maybe she wasn’t that bad after all.

“Why wouldn’t you see her again? Didn’t you tell her how much you like her?” Megane asked a little confused. Richie shook his head. “Of course I told her but she might think she can’t do it.” Richie tried to explain, he didn’t feel like he could tell Sarah’s story. He started to like Megane but couldn’t trust her with that.

“She might not be able to do it? You’re confusing me Richie, what are you talking about?” Megane asked, more confused than earlier. After seeing Sarah run away last Friday she thought they were together.

He thought a minute for a way to explain without too much detail. “Sarah isn’t sure if she can handle a relationship right now.” Richie explained easily without giving away details about Sarah’s life. “Oh,” Megane said, “but she likes you.” It wasn’t a question she was asking, she knew.

Richie shrugged. “She says she does but when we get close, she runs away.” He thought of earlier that morning. She had actually ran away, the first week, she spend days hiding from him. Running away was something she hadn’t done before.

He tried not to start wondering about it but it hurt, knowing he had made her so uncomfortable that she couldn’t talk to him or stay with him and the only solution was running away from him.

“She really does like you.” Megane insisted. Richie shrugged again, he knew Sarah had said it and meant it but now he wasn’t sure if she liked him enough to get past the fears she had.

“Trust me,” Megane started again, “I know people and she likes you, you’ll see.” She sounded so sure of it, like Sarah had confided in her with her feelings. “I hope so.” Richie really hoped she was right but the only way to really find out was waiting until Thursday morning when he would leave the rehab center. “Trust me.” Megane reassured him again.

“How can you be so sure?” Richie asked. The songs he played may be about hope and not giving up, and he knew he should take his own advice but right now he didn’t feel very hopeful. He was scared, what if he never saw her again, if she didn’t take the step she needed to take.

“Like I said, I know people. I could see right away how much you like each other. Well after…” Megane told him. Friday she had no clue but when she saw them going outside Saturday, she could see it immediately.

“We were trying to keep it unnoticed.” He thought their efforts had been a waste. Did everyone know? Tina knew, but she had cameras.

Megane chuckled. “Come on Richie, I told you, I know people. I haven’t heard anyone else mention it.”

“Okay then.” He hoped she was right. “How come you know people so well then? Are you a psychologist or something?” It would explain her knowledge of people but what would a psychologist do at a rehab center? Didn’t a psychologist help people at a rehab center?

“Not at all but I see a lot of people at my job and you get to know people like that.” Megane explained with a shrug like it was that simple.

After a few more minutes, their subject changed to small talk. They quite enjoyed talking to each other until Megane stood up from the couch. “I’m going to bed, see you tomorrow.” She said as she made her way out of the room.

Richie had started to feel pretty tired for the last few minutes too. “Wait, I’ll walk with you.” He said as he tried to catch up with her.


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Chapter 23

Richie woke early the next morning. According to Sarah’s clock, it was five hours before she had to leave. Unable to go back to sleep, he watched Sarah sleep.

While she had looked so scared and worried the night before, she looked so peaceful and relaxed now. He knew she would be fine, he believed in her, the strong woman inside of her. The woman that had made all those hard choices in her life.

He liked watching her sleep, her lips slightly parted, her beautiful hair framing her face. So peaceful and beautiful.

Until her eyes fluttered open. “You’re watching me.” She said quietly. “Yeah.” He answered, no use in denying what he was doing if he was enjoying it.

“Why?” She asked just as quietly as she stretched her legs alongside of him a little bit, she was still in his arms, looking up at him. “Cause you’re beautiful to look at.” He smiled softly at her. “Oh.” Sarah’s face went blank, she didn’t know what to say to that. It had been ages since she was called that, her boys saying she was pretty when they were younger was different.

“What?” Richie asked confused at her reaction. “Nothing, I’m going back to sleep.” She moved uncomfortable in Richie’s arm, trying to turn around but he wouldn’t let her go, so she just closed her eyes again.

Richie continued watching her, even though she had a worried look on her face now, his arm still around her, he softly stroked her back.

“Stop watching me.” Sarah said, eyes still closed, she could feel his eyes on her, it was making her uncomfortable.

Richie sighed and turned to look up above him, the ceiling was second choice to stare at.



When he woke again, Sarah’s head was resting on his shoulder. His arm was wrapped around her, his hand resting on her hip, while Sarah’s hand rested on his chest. Her leg pulled high up over his groin. He must have dozed off again but waking with her all curled around him wasn't a bad thing.

Bright sunlight now tried to shine in to the room, regardless of the curtains, it was pretty bright in the room.

“Sarah?” He tried to wake her softly. “Sarah wake up.”

Sarah heard his voice and opened her eyes. She immediately knew where she was and what she was doing. Realizing where her leg was, she was sure she could feel something under her leg. She jerked up to sit next to him. For a second she watched him, then jumped from the bed and ran in to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Richie was surprised and confused, did he do something? Was that something that he might have done a bad thing?



When she didn’t return after more than a few minutes, Richie got up from the bed and knocked on the bathroom door. “Sarah, are you alright?” He wasn’t sure what to think of her abrupt leaving.

“Don’t you need to leave before they find out or something?” Came the answer from the other side of the locked door.

Richie sighed, he knew what that meant, he wasn’t stupid.

He turned around again, picked up his shirt from the floor next to the bed and put it back on, along with his socks and shoes.

He softly closed the door behind him and went downstairs.

For the first time in his whole stay he had breakfast by himself, almost every day he had breakfast with Sarah, now he sat alone.



Afterward he went back to his room, he didn't want to be around people now. He couldn’t stop thinking why Sarah had ran away from him but the little voice in the back of his mind kept telling him it was nothing and that she needed time to progress what happened in the last few days. He knew they had been pretty close, sleeping together, that was probably difficult for her.

He knew that voice was probably right but he couldn’t stop wondering why. She had asked him to stay the night, she was sure that she wanted him to. Yet now, she wasn’t.

Had he done something? Should he have gone to his room and not spent the night?

He simply wasn’t sure what to think.

He liked her, he was sure of that. She was beautiful, he was sure of that too. He really didn’t want her to go, he was sure of that too. But was he able to keep it slow?

On tour he could probably get whichever girl he picked out or two, maybe even three. He shook his head in thought. That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted the stability of a relationship, someone to share with, not someone to trade for the next.

He had to wait, he knew it would be hard but he didn’t want to lose Sarah, he could see the strong woman inside her that she was hiding from the world.

Maybe she needed him too, to pull her out of that shell she was hiding in and away from the walls she protected herself with.

If Sarah did need him or want him, he was going to let her make it clear to him, it would be her decision.

Richie remembered that day in group therapy last week when Sarah had said she wanted a relationship with him but now she said she was scared of the real world, did that mean having a relationship too?

He was going to let it up to her. If she really wanted that relationship with him, she’d have to prove it to him.

He sighed, there was only one way to get all those thought from his mind, he picked up his guitar, strumming the strings with a pick, another thought popped in to his mind.



Sarah was overwhelmed with feelings. She was scared, it was too much, maybe it was just going too fast for her. It struck her when he was in her bed that morning, when she was really awake, shirtless even and, was he aroused? Was that what she had felt?

She thought she could do it but it was too close, too soon, too fast. She still wanted that relationship with him but it was going too fast right now, she hoped Richie knew that too.

Maybe it was good she was going home in an hour, some time away. Time to think about it all, to figure everything out.

She hadn’t gone back to real life yet and already it was getting too much.



An hour later she stood in the lobby, her bag by her side, she was going home.

A few people had gathered in the lobby with her. After saying goodbye to everyone, there was only one more person to say goodbye to. Now that she was close to saying goodbye, she realized she didn’t want to but that realization scared her too.

When she turned to Richie, he took her hands and pulled her away from everyone. “I got something for you.” He reached into his jeans pocket and retrieved a guitar string with his pick on. “Turn around.” He ordered.

Sarah did as she was asked. She could feel Richie gather her hair and put it over her right shoulder. He reached the string over her head, letting the pick sit in front, he tied the strings in the back of her neck. When he was sure it was secured, he put her hair back and turned her around again.

She looked down at the pick, it was similar to the one he already gave her. “Thank you.” She said, she liked it, it was very sweet of him to do. It was a great way to remember him and keep him close.

“You’re welcome, it’s just in case, in case of what you decide.” He said. “What do you mean?” Sarah asked confused.

Richie took a deep breath, now was the time. “I know it might have gone a bit fast for you and I’m giving you the decision now. If you want to see where this roller coaster ride will go, all of it, the ups, the downs, and certainly the loops. If you want to give all this a chance without running away but talking instead, be here on Thursday when I leave.”


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Chapter 22

In the morning Sarah and Richie met in the kitchen, sitting at their usual seats.

Today was Saturday so no therapies and Sarah’s last day at the center. It was hard to believe that day had come so fast, now they had to say goodbye and neither of them wanted to.

“How did you sleep?” Richie asked, keeping their conversation casual like nothing had happened. “Good,” Sarah answered, “until 5.”

“What happened?” Richie asked even though he knew, he’d like to hear it from her. “I don’t know,” she shrugged, “it just got very cold in my bed.” “That’s weird.” He said, feigning deep thought. “I missed you.” Sarah said quietly so nobody but Richie could hear her.

It had taken her at least an hour to get comfortable in her bed after Richie had left but she hadn’t been able to fall asleep again. She had liked having Richie that close, even when she slept.

“I missed you too.”

After breakfast they did the washing up so the rest of the group didn’t have to. Richie intended to spend every minute of today with Sarah.

They both hoped to keep their relationship going after next week, but who knew what would happen once they went back to their real lives. So many things had changed now.

Once the kitchen was neat and tidy, they went to the living room. Even thought it was a small rehab center with not much patients the living room was full except for one couch. Richie and Sarah sat down together. It was the reason Richie had picked this place, it was small and private, and there would be less chances that anyone recognized him, except for Megane then.

He looked around the room for her but didn’t see her, instead he paid attention to the tv. It wasn’t very interesting, someone had turned on the discovery channel again, but it was passing his time and most important he got to spend his time with Sarah.

Unlike Richie, Sarah liked the discovery channel; at home she would watch it too, at least that way her time was sort of spent useful. Not anymore though, as soon as possible she’d go out and find a job, while she was still confident to do it.

After a while she noticed Richie was getting bored of the documentaries. She rubbed his arm. “Do you want to go outside?” She asked, looking up at him. “Yes, that would be great.” They’d be alone and private, he always liked that idea.

They got up and walked past the bookcases, to the sitting area.

“Richie!” They heard behind them. Richie turned around to see who it was. He couldn’t believe it, not her again. “What?” He answered more than a bit rudely. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have done that yesterday.” He was surprised she was apologizing but if she was truly sorry, it would make his last few days a lot easier. “It’s alright.” He said, he knew how fans aceted.

“I really am sorry.” Megane looked over at Sarah, then back at Richie. “I”ll let you be now.” Megane turned around and walked away.

Richie still thought it was strange, fans usually didn’t apologize, maybe Tina talked to her about it.

They continued their walk outside to the bench they always sat on. When they sat, they kissed shortly.

Richie stretched out on the bench, his legs stretched in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He leaned back in his seat and held his arm open for Sarah to sit with him.

Sarah moved closer, ducking under his arm, she rested her head on his shoulder and he closed his arm around her.

Once again they had perfect peace. Together at their bench with a beautiful view of the pond and the garden, it was completely quiet except for the chirping of the birds and rustling of leafs.

They were oblivious to time while they talked, mostly about the future and the past, leaving the present unspoken. It was easier to not think of what happened tomorrow and the next week.

They had now and now was very nice.

Soon enough it was lunch and they went back inside, just like earlier they sat together. Some people congratulated Sarah on finishing her stay and telling her how much improvement they noticed in her. She felt proud when she heard all the compliments.



It was the same way their evening went.

After dinner they all gathered in the living room. She received more compliments, now even from nurses and therapists. Sarah was proud of her improvement; she was at a party right now and felt perfectly fine with everyone around her.

Even the few new people, including Megane congratulated her. She hadn’t often felt this proud of herself in her life. It was a great feeling and she hoped she could keep feeling it after tomorrow.

As the evening past, people started to stay goodnight.

When half the people had left, Tina appeared in the living room. She had taken a liking to Sarah and Richie and for once she left her desk. “You’ve done so well.” Tina hugged Sarah. “Work on that relationship, you don’t want to lose him.” Tina said so only Sarah could hear.

Sarah nodded, she knew she would. She had trusted Richie with so much, she didn’t want to leave that behind at the center.

When Tina was about to leave again, Richie followed her. “Thanks for talking to Megane.” He was sure Tina had and that Megane would keep her distance now, she hadn’t said a thing to him all night.

“What? I didn’t talk to her.” Tina told him. “Oh.” Richie was surprised. “She apologized earlier.” He explained.

“Ah some good sense in her anyway.” Tina said. “I guess you and Sarah worked things out yesterday then?” She too had heard what happened after Megane tried to play the poor rejected girl. Too bad for her most of the people here were double her age and saw it differently than her.

“Eumh, yeah we did.” Had she seen him? Or seen him sneak in and out of Sarah’s room? “I see everything Richie.” Tina said with a smile. “Do you ever sleep?” Richie wondered. “We have cameras.” Tina pointed them out on the ceiling.

How could he not have noticed that in these three weeks, he thought while looking where Tina pointed? “Maybe there will be some technical difficulties tonight and tomorrow morning.” Tina said as she walked away.

Richie smiled, did she just give him permission to sneak in to Sarah’s room?

When he returned to the main rooms, more people had left, he checked his watch, 10.07pm, usually they did something fun on Saturday nights, today that was replaced by Sarah’s goodbye party.

But Richie didn’t want to say goodbye to her, he hoped he had made that clear to her.

Soon enough it was only him and Sarah sitting on a couch, just like the rest of the day, they didn’t say much, they both felt the same sadness.

Sarah lied on his shoulder just like when they were sitting outside. She felt herself getting tired and her eyes got heavier.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Sarah snapped awake at the sound of his voice, not realizing she was dozing off already. She sat up and rubbed her eyes with her hands. “I guess so.” Sarah said, adding a yawn to it.

Richie stood up and reached out a hand to help her stand. He gave her a hug before moving his hand to the small of her back and guided her to her bedroom, not stopping when he turned to the ladies wing of the upstairs hallways.

Richie opened her door and followed her inside, closing the door behind them.

“Are you staying the night again?” Sarah asked sleepily as she sat on the bed. “If you want me to.” He hoped she did, after last night he knew he would never sleep as well without her as he had with her.

“Of course I want you to. I haven’t slept that wall as last night in years.” Sarah said honestly. After Richie had left in the morning she had been unable to get back to sleep.

“Okay.” Richie took off his shoes and socks while Sarah went to change in the bathroom.

Just as she walked back in to her room Richie was taking his shirt off. Last night she had averted her eyes in the darkness when he took his shirt off but tonight she watched him. The room was dimly lit by a table light at the side of her bed so it was still hard to see.

Which was okay, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to see him half naked yet.

They got in bed together like the night before; Richie lied behind Sarah and wrapped his arm around her.

He didn’t want it to be her last night. He liked sleeping with a beautiful woman; he didn’t want it to be the last time.

Sarah had mixed feeling about leaving; she was scared of what would happen after she left. She had been in a protected environment for a month. The real world would be a lot harder. Did she really have the courage to go out and look for a job? Did she have to courage to have a relationship? It wouldn’t be the same as it was here. Was she really ready for it all?

Then again, here she was in bed with the beautiful man that had changed her stay. Before she had talked to him she mostly hid away in her room. The man with whom she hoped to have a relationship. The one she had to trust with her feelings. The one she should confide in.

“Richie?” She asked softly. “Hmmm.” Came his sleepy answer. “I’m scared.” She said just as softly.

That woke him up. “What?” He watched Sarah turn around to face him in the dark. “Why?” He asked.

Sarah felt a bit silly, she had been so confident until it came to it. “About leaving, facing the real world. Everything will be so much more difficult than it was here. I don’t know if I can do it.”

He couldn’t deny that, it would be more difficult. “It will but you know how to handle it, you’ve practiced conversations and stuff.” He tried to encourage. “I know, but it’ll be different.” Sarah said sadly followed by a yawn.

“Come here.” He pulled her closer in to a hug and kissed her softly. “Don’t worry. You’re tired; tomorrow you’ll feel better about it. You need some sleep.”

Richie hugged her close and waited for her to fall asleep before he allowed himself to go to dreamland.


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Chapter 21

They watched the minutes pass by on the alarm clock on Sarah’s night stand. They had missed dinner but they didn’t feel like eating anyway.

After an afternoon that rough they just needed to be together now.

Surprisingly nobody had come to look for them. The rest of the group was probably busy with the new residents.

They hadn’t moved at all for an hour until Richie couldn’t wait any longer, he needed to go the bathroom. He let go of Sarah’s hand and reassured her he’d be right back.

When he got back Sarah had moved to lie down on top of the covers of her bed. It wasn’t that late yet but she really wanted to sleep now.

“If you’re sleepy, I could go.” Richie suggested, if she wanted to sleep, he wouldn’t bother her. “No, come lie with me.” She said.

“Are you sure?” He asked, walking over to the bed. “Don’t you want to get under the covers?” He asked his next question. “Not yet, I’m not that sleepy.” Sarah said.

Richie got on the bed behind her, sitting up against the head board. Sarah turned around and sat up too so she could sit with him. Her head rested on his shoulder while her hand rested on his chest.

He gently stroked her back, enjoying the closeness they were sharing.

They sat in silence enjoying each other and the relaxing feeling. It was nice to hold each other with the comfort of a bed.

After an hour of staying in Richie’s comfortable arms Sarah started getting even more tired. Richie noticed her eyes drifting closed. “Do you want to go to sleep? I’ll let you be?” He offered; not loosening his grip just yet. “I do want to sleep, but will you stay with me?” Sarah asked as she sat up next to him.

Richie thought about it, what would happen if they didn’t find him in his room the next morning? Opposite sexes weren’t allowed in bedrooms but he already was and he didn’t care about the consequences right now, he liked holding Sarah, that was all that really mattered. “Of course sweetie.” He said.

Glad that he’d stay, Sarah got up and went to the bathroom. She liked having him in her room despite of what happened earlier. She understood it now; it just came with being a rock star.

A few minutes later she returned in yoga pants and a t-shirt. Richie liked that, better than pajamas.

“Don’t you want to get a little more comfy?” Sarah asked. Richie was still fully dressed and wearing his shoes. “Are you sure?” He needed her to be sure about it, without his clothes and in a bed, they’d be a lot closer than they had been before.

“Yes, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Sarah said, thinking he wouldn’t exactly get naked either but sleeping in his jeans couldn’t be comfy, she’d be ok if he was just wearing his underwear. It didn’t mean they’d do anything, she was sure Richie knew that too.

Richie started taking off his shoes, his socks followed immediately after. He put them down on the floor next to him.

Sarah looked up from rearranging the pillows on her bed, she was actually going to sleep with him, really sleep. “You’re comfy enough like that?” Sarah didn’t believe he would be. It was pretty dark in the room, the only light that came in was the light of the street through the curtain but she could see he was still wearing all his clothes.

“Actually,” he started taking off his shirt, “now I’m comfy.” He knew he’d be more comfy without jeans but he wasn’t sure if he could control himself without it and knew that he wouldn’t be ok with that.

Sarah got in bed and felt Richie get in behind her. She moved back until she was against his hard chest.

Richie wrapped an arm around her, pulling her even closer against him. A feeling of happiness and acceptance rushed through him when Sarah put her arm on top of his and intertwined their fingers. “Good night.” He whispered, adding a kiss to her shoulder. “Night.” Richie thought he couldn’t possibly be any happier, Sarah in his arms, nothing could be better than that.



Hours later Richie woke up with a start. Momentarily he doubted where he was, that he had dreamt it all until Sarah’s sleepy voice asked what was wrong.

He looked over at the alarm clock, “It’s 5am.” He said almost in panic. “Then why are you up?” Sarah asked sleepily, not moving from the position she was sleeping in.

“What if they find out?” He knew he wasn’t allowed in here and if they kicked him out or something? He told Sarah about his worry.

“Maybe you’re right,” she turned around to face him, “but you can’t leave without a kiss good night.” They shared a deep, long kiss before Richie got up, put his shirt back on and took his shoes in his left hand.

He walked around the bed and pulled the sheets back up to her shoulders. He didn’t want her to get up, she was clearly tired and didn’t want to wake her even more.

“Good night.” He whispered when he was at the door and carefully closed it when he was out in the hall.

Outside her room Richie noticed small spotlights in the floor along the wall that guided him to his room.

Back in his room he dropped his shoes by the door. He dropped his t-shirt on top of them and unfastened his jeans in the bathroom, using the toilet before kicking them off entirely and got in to his bed.

After a few minutes of lying awake alone, he realized he missed Sarah. Her warmth against him, in his arms, so close that he could smell her hair just felt so much better than sleeping alone. His bed was cold and lonely, he wasn’t sure he could get back to sleep now but closed his eyes anyway.

It was only 5, he didn’t have to get up until 8, which was an ungodly hour while he was on tour but now he was used to it. He hoped to fall asleep again; there was nothing worse than lying awake for hours.

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